Resident Evil: Extinction

The third in the series of films, adapted from the Capcom game. The first was entertaining enough, the second was a bit shit, and this one is probably up to the standard of the first one again (not exactly a high bar).

3's basically Resident Evil + Mad Max 2 + Day of the Dead and not much else. So what has it got going for it?...

1. Milla Jovovich!!!!
2. Directed by Russell Mulcahy (not great true, but he did direct Highlander!!)
3. Milla Jovovich kicking ass!!!!
4. A fair bit of gore

What I'd really like to see is Milla leading in a GOOD film!

Resident Evil: Extinction - 5/10

Hitman

As far as game adaps go, this isn't actually that bad. Of course they could've made more of it, but there's some signs of promise there.

Timothy Olyphant is pretty good as Agent 47, everybody else is pretty much inconsequential and as far as plot goes, well.. it's as to be expected.

At the end of the day it's better than both Doom and Silent Hill put together!


Hitman - 6/10

Doom

What is it with films based on computer games? I mean... they're all shite.

This one especially so.

Look at it this way, Doom; one of the greatest computer games of all time, atmospheric, scary, revolutionary. So why hire a couple of clearly the worst screenwriters on the planet, find a director who thinks he's playing the game and then spend a shitload of money on it to no avail??

I like The Rock, I most things I think he's extrememly entertaining and he should be the new Schwarzennegger (yes I know I've probably spelt that wrong), however, he's severely lacking in a suitable big budget vehicle to push him to that level, and Doom sure as hell isn't it either!

I'm sure Karl Urban could do better as well, he was ok in LOTR and Pathfinder looks ok, but then there's no real dialogue in the trailer so that could go anywhere, in Doom, he may as well just be the face at the bottom of the screen. And Rosamund Pike, somebody ask her to stop now please.

Doom - 2/10

Tip for the day: Spend 2 hours playing Doom 2 on a DOS PC instead

Silent Hill

Apparently this is regarded as a horror movie. I don't feel that it is.

It is in fact a complete load of stinking toss. Badly written, badly acted, badly directed, bad CG, some truly cringe-worthy CG in fact, including a shockingly bad virtual camera move when Rose first explores the town.

The plot makes bugger all sense, eg. if you reach the end of a film and say out loud "WHAT?!..Like what the hell was that all about", then it can't be good*

Apparently Christophe Gans (dir.) is supposed to be some sort of visual genius, and while I haven't seen any of his other work, said genius wasn't demonstrated here, I was expecting to be impressed by the ever smouldering town and was completely underwhlemed, but it's poor CG "enhanced" nature.

The townsfolk were laughable, properly so to the extent of several scenes conjouring up visions in my mind of Monty Python and The Holy Grail ("SHE'S A WITCH!")

For the sake of that couple of ours or whatever it is. AVOID.

Silent Hill - 0/10 (I'd even give wolf creek a 2)



*My personal exception to this rule is Miike Takashi's "Ichi The Killer", which made absolutely no sense to me, but I loved it, partly because of that, most Japanese stuff doesn't make sense to us lot over here.