Juno

Y'know when I saw this advertised I was like "Meh", when I saw that it had won the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay is was like "Ok, Meh", having now watched it I can say "Cheers!"

A surprisingly awesome film, maybe a little over the top on some of the "teen slang" scripting and performances in places, but still a heartwarming, interesting and highly entertaining movie.

Michael Cera's stunningly understated performance clearly steals the movie, and I'd hazard a guess that it pisses on Superbad (yet to endure that one) and despite the caricatured characters that the film requires, they all had depth and actually, believability.

I can't take it with all these movies that as far as I know I shouldn't like, but then do, what's with that? A new found open-mindedness? Being in touch with my feminine side? Dunno, maybe it's just there's some good films about in the indie sector now and I should pay more attention, and so should you.

Juno - 9/10

The Bank Job

I like Jason Statham, to the extent that my girlfriend thinks there's some sort of "man-crush" in there somewhere, well possibly. I think that, in a similar way to Dwayne Johnson, he can actually act, but unfortunately he hasn't been given a good enough script or director yet, yet a film I'm quite looking forward to is Transporter 3, not so much Death Race, cos that's a Paul WS Anderson, so chances are it won't be that good. Anyway I digress...The Bank Job...

It's not bad, the reviews I heard were pretty mediocre, and to be fair, it's not the best film in the world and is not without fault (there's a fair few), but as far as britflicks go, I thought it was pretty entertaining.

Statham gives hints of a deeper than usual performance, but ultimately does the job with the usual JS thang. Saffron Burrows is just plain annoying, but you can kinda let that go. Plot wise, it's a little messy, with bits all over the place and maybe tried to be a bit too complicated for it's own good and how close it sticks to the "based on a true story" side of things is anyone's guess.

Anyway, another one that's worth a watch.

The Bank Job - 7/10

30 Days of Night

I have to be honest, this was a bit of a let down. I love the comic and the film just didn't seem to have the impact it should've done.

My main issue was how they represented the main characters differently from the comic, it changes the dynamic and, in my view, not in a good way.

Apart from that it's a slow slow film, ok, it's set over 30 days, but it just doesn't have the tension it should do, and as such the interest levels drop lower and lower over the course of the film.

And yeah I agree with the comments on IMDb, too much velociraptor style screeching.

30 Days of Night - 5/10

The Condemned

When you see the WWE logo pop up at the start of the picture it can't be a good sign, and to be fair this ain't the best film in the world, however, it's okay.

Someone on IMDb for their user comment, put "A Great Movie, Average Remake", WRONG!!, what it should be is "An average movie, NOT a remake", this isn't a remake of Battle Royale, it's a similar concept yes, a load of people on an island who have to kill each other, however the political subtext of Battle Royale isn't there, in it's place a rather ham fisted attempt at a message, one which somewhat contradicts most of WWE's output.

So, the film's so so, Steve Austin's no Dwayne Johnson, but he's not terrible either. Vinnie Jones is pretty much awesome in this as a deranged ex-SAS soldier on the rampage, playing it proper brit suits him, and to be fair more should've been made of him. (whoever thought that would be said?!)

The Condemned - 6/10

Rawhead Rex

Good God this is bad, and to think Clive Barker wrote it, you'd think he'd be able to come up with something a tad better than a man in a toothy monkey suit!!

And the title!?! Really?! Rawhead Rex?! As if ANYONE will take you seriously now!

Rawhead Rex - 2/10

Walking Tall (2004)

I've got a lot of time for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, I think he's extremely charismatic and can actually act!

I'm not sure how far he could be stretched on the acting front, but with the stuff he's done so far (I *still* need to see Be Cool and Southland Tales), he's been pretty good. He's a solid action hero, that has absolutely no problem with a helping of self deprecation, all of which makes for an entertaining watch. Give him a good script and a good director and see what happens.

As for Walking Tall, based on a 1973 film and real events, we have Chris Vaughn returning home after 8 year's army service, to find his home town ain't what it used to be. He gets pissed off, beat up and sets out to put things straight.

This is another film that I've been waiting ages to see, and well, it wasn't as good as I was hoping for. It's a tad slow and choppy, Johnny Knoxville was pretty lame, and the script wasn't the best, thank the lord The Rock was in it tho, that made it watchable.

Walking Tall (2004) - 7/10

The Covenant

Apart from a few nice lines and tricks, it's basically rubbish, Lost Boys meets The Craft, meets a steaming pile of witchypoo.

It's directed by Renny Harlin, I'd recommend Deep Blue Sea over this one.


The Covenant - 3/10

The Mist

Another one that was better than expected, not brilliant, kinda predictable and unfortunately it seems about half of the Dean Koontz books I've been reading recently have followed a similar theme, so I'm slightly bored with it, maybe Dean and Stephen hung out for a bit??

This is also the first film I've seen Thomas Jane in since The Punisher, there's probably a reason for that.

I don't know how this compares to King's story, but it's pretty well contained, despite having a number of people, it stays pretty small and close, playing on paranoia and hysteria to reasonable effect, overall it's slow though, plodding and the ultimate pay off wasn't as emotional as I think it should've been.


The Mist - 6/10

Resident Evil: Extinction

The third in the series of films, adapted from the Capcom game. The first was entertaining enough, the second was a bit shit, and this one is probably up to the standard of the first one again (not exactly a high bar).

3's basically Resident Evil + Mad Max 2 + Day of the Dead and not much else. So what has it got going for it?...

1. Milla Jovovich!!!!
2. Directed by Russell Mulcahy (not great true, but he did direct Highlander!!)
3. Milla Jovovich kicking ass!!!!
4. A fair bit of gore

What I'd really like to see is Milla leading in a GOOD film!

Resident Evil: Extinction - 5/10

Hitman

As far as game adaps go, this isn't actually that bad. Of course they could've made more of it, but there's some signs of promise there.

Timothy Olyphant is pretty good as Agent 47, everybody else is pretty much inconsequential and as far as plot goes, well.. it's as to be expected.

At the end of the day it's better than both Doom and Silent Hill put together!


Hitman - 6/10

The Messengers

Another film to demonstrate how originality in the horror genre is in short supply.

Family forced to move - check
Dysfuntional? - check
creepy new house - check
etc.

Didn't I watch this film the other day??

Basically The Messengers was pretty dull, there's a couple of goosebump inducing moments, but no real scares and the whole thing doesn't really make a huge amount of sense.

The Messengers - 5/10

Fantastic Four

I previously posted about the sequel to this, so now, a tad back to front, a short piece on the 2005, Tim Story directed re-boot (is it?) of Marvel's Fantastic Four!!!!!

Now Batman Begins this ain't!! But then it's a shitload better than Man-Thing and overall reasonably entertaining. I'm not a huge fan of F4, I'm more of a Batman, Spiderman and Hellboy person myself, but as films go, it's ok.

It's a bog standard origin story, they all go to space, soak up some rads and come back a bit peaky.

The best thing about this film is Michael Chiklis as Ben "The Thing" Grimm, the worst thing is Jessica "Why in God's name do I keep topping FHM lists" Alba.

Also welcome Chris Evans, then go watch him in Sunshine.


Fantastic Four - 7/10

The Spiderwik Chronicles

Y'know Harry Potter's got a lot to answer for, namely the spate of fantasy filled family films. No not so much LOTR, cos that was that wasn't really for kids.

Spiderwick takes some pretty standard set-ups, broken family, new start in a new place in a new house, etc etc.

Then one of the boys finds a book, then all fantastical hell breaks loose, with goblins, trolls, ogres and stuff.

There's some pretty funny stuff in here and for once Seth Rogan didn't annoy the shit out of me.

It's a little slow in places, and cliche world, but it's entertaining enough.


The Spiderwick Chronicles - 7/10

Amelie (Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain)

It doesn't matter how many time I see this film, it will never be anything less than awesome.

One of several examples of why Jean-Pierre Jeunet is one of my favourite directors, Amelie is a heartwarming take of imagination and romance. It helps that the adorable Audry Tatou is in the lead role too!

I love pretty much everything about this film, the story, the characters, direction, cinematography, it's simply brilliant. You need spirits lifting, watch Amelie.


Amelie (Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain) - 10/10

Flight of the Navigator

They don't make 'em like this anymore. No really they don't!

The sort of kids adventure film that typified the 80's and my childhood, young kid, bit dissallusioned, spaceship (etc) adventure, all's good in the world.

The film's all about family, possibly not the best example, but at the same time, a great classic 80's movie, with possibly Alan Silvestri's worst ever score!

You are... the navigator!

Flight of the Navigator - 7/10

Black Sheep

New Zealand does chuck out some crackers. Black Sheep is very much in the same vein as early Peter Jackson, silly, gory comedy horror and it's brilliant fun.

It's a tad slow in the middle and to be honest a little anti-climactic, but overall it's an entertaining romp, silly humour and a good way to spend an evening in front of the telly.

Well worth watching and I'll certainly be purchasing of a copy.


Black Sheep - 7/10

AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem

Has it really come to this?? Why do studio's STILL not understand or simply not care about making a good franchise film? Something as high profile as the Alien & Predator films and they give it to a couple of FX guys.


Ridely Scott
James Cameron
David Fincher
Jean-Pierre Jeunet
John McTiernen

then

Stephen Hopkins (I like P2 btw)
Paul W.S. Anderson (lame attempt but better than this)
The Brothers Strauss (fucknuts)

There are a couple of good ideas in AVPR, tracking stuff and beacons of sorts, but overall the film is shite, just plain shite, it's soooo dark in places, there's clearly cock all budget for actors or everyone else who looked at the script said "You've gotta be kidding right?"

It seem like they've tried to 'homage' all the other films, they fail in this but succeed in ripping them off.

The main character is called "Dallas" for fuck's sake, there's lines from the other films, there's an armoured car escape sequence, there's other bits, but my head hurts.

It's over the top, badly choreographed and the predailien is rubbish.


AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem - 3/10

Bug

"From the director of The Exorcist" blah blah. Bug is kinda marketed as a horror, it's not. It says "Thriller" on the back, not really.

"Comedy" that would be more apt. It's quite an interesting concept, all about paranoia and stuff and the acting gets pretty full on crazy, but in the end it's laughable. The 'quotes' on the case exclaim how "gripping", "tense" and "claustrophobic" it is, rather than how "stupid", "laugh out loud funny" and "best comedy of the hear so far" it actually is.

Well maybe not "best" as at the end of the day, it's a shit film. And not Shit Good either.


Bug - 3/10

Black Christmas (2006)

Another remake, another slasher film, another pile of shite.

This one does have a few funny moments tho and they're clearly aiming to be funny, but overall the film is just shite, to be fair we even got a tad distracted during the middle, so watched the beginning and the end and pretty much knew all we needed to know about what was going on.

I don't feel I need to go back and watch the rest.

Black Christmas (2006) - 3/10

Pulse

Pulse is rubbish. I don't know what the Japanese original's like, but the remake, as to be expected, is rubbish.

Evil wi-fi, um.. ok..

There's a few creepy bits and it does have Kristen Bell in it (although her performance in Heroes was much better), but in general it boring as hell, like really really boring.


Pulse - 2/10